I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
