I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
