I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
