This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
