he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
