We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
