and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
