just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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