This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize