I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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