Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
