You're completely useless in the revolution.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
