Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i will never coherently bang her
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You did what with his pubic hair?
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