Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
