wrigley field is MILF paradise
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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