Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
