I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
