Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize