wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
