I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
