you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
