she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
