whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
