How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize