Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize