can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
