About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
