Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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