If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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