Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
