why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
