i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
