I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize