My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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