420 ftw
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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