ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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