How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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