How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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