And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
