Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
