Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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