Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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