Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
