Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
