it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
