you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
