please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
