I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
