dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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