State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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