drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my being single is dangerous.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
