If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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