And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize