I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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