So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
