You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
