We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
