drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
