we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
