kristin has been a bad kristin
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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