There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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