; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
