with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
