I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
