I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize